No One Will Know After All

So often i find myself alone, wanting to be alone, but wanting to be with others. Sometimes my contradicting mind hurts my heart so much i want to cry, but i can't. Even when tragedy strikes the water doesn't spill from the glass. Sometimes i feel heartless. How often do people really cry? I never knew. It always seems there is a reason to shed a tear, and somehow I'm caught up in it. Is it possible to become immune to emotional pain? I contradict so much that i exist but then again, i don't. It's painful to have a non-existent existence. If only everyone else could see that my eyes are always full of sadness, and my heart is full of dead flowers. Then they'd know what all my words have ever truly meant. Even if they did, i guess it wouldn't matter. Especially since i hardly speak. I know what uncertainties the future holds. Sadly no one listens and even i will end up paying for it too in the end. If only when I'm being used I would be used properly. Sorry if you feel you wasted your time reading this. That's all.